"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality." --Bishop Desmond Tutu

Friday, November 14, 2008

Friday's bit o' NaNoWriMo

I'm making my way forward. I have an ending drafted, I know what's going to happen to Sara and Mary now. Here is a small piece of Mary's story. This is being told to Sara while they sit on a park bench in Mysore, India.
“Well, when I was fourteen, I went to a sleep-away vacation bible camp. It’s a camp with lots of other Christian kids, boys and girls, and it up in the woods in northern Wisconsin. It’s on a lake and there’s lots of outdoor things to do. Canoeing, kayaking, hiking, swimming, archery, that kind of stuff.

“The boys and girls slept in different cabins, of course. And each cabin had a sleep-in counselor. They were responsible for keeping us on the straight and narrow path. Our counselor was a girl named Julie. She was twenty and a junior at Marquette University.

“Anyway, Julie was a very sound sleeper. My two best friends at the camp, Tam and Kim, short for Kimberly, but she’d hit you if you called her that,” Mary said with a laugh, “we were all in the same cabin together. Now these weren’t friends from home, but they were kids I would see in the summer at this camp. So one night they snuck out of the cabin together, under the guise that they were going to go meet some boys down by the lake. I was fourteen and really hadn’t developed the interest in boys that most of my friends had but I was still curious. What were you supposed to do with boys besides maybe kiss them and stuff. Some of the girls were totally boy crazy at that camp. I decided to follow them to see what the big deal was.

“They headed down to the place where they stacked the canoes, where Tam had said she was going to arrange the meeting. When they got down to the dock, the moon was full and the lake was as beautiful a spot as I’d ever seen. The gentle waves were lapping up on the beach next to the dock, and the racks filled with canoes were shadowed under the overhanging trees.

“I was really nervous. I’d never even kissed a boy at that age. I watched them disappear into the gloom between the canoes and the old willow tree. It was completely dark back there and I wondered how the boys were going to find them back there. They must have arranged this ahead of time. I kept to the shadows on the path and sat down to wait.

“After a few minutes, I heard some rustling coming from over by the big willow tree. Maybe the boys were already there. I was far too curious to sit there and listen to this fooling around and not see it for myself. Maybe if I saw them doing things, it would pique my interest in boys.

“As quietly as I could, I crept along the edge of the canoe rack, keeping low to the ground, practically crawling. When I reached the end, I got down on my tummy and crawled under the bottom canoe. There was enough space to wiggle under and from the darkness, I could see the space out to the big willow.

“It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark, but when they did, I saw something totally unexpected. Something that frightened me. Not because of what they were doing, Tam and Kim, but because of how it made me feel."
Please remember, first draft only!!!! No tweaks or anything, so be gentle.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

This has a great flow to it. You are really good at building suspense! I can't wait to read more.